January 2023 - Children and youth say they want more informed, approachable adults they can turn to for help in navigating stress and challenges on a day-to-day basis. According to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, “the single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.[1]” This connection reduces the likelihood of violence perpetration resulting in safer communities.
Crime Victim Services’ Prevention Team is committed to equipping adults to be more askable and supportive. This simply means being approachable and willing to have strong, positive, and affirming communication with youth. This is vital in the development of confidence and connectedness. To achieve this in 2023, we are inviting adults in our community to become a C.A.R.I.N.G. adult.
C.A.R.I.N.G. adults practice Consistent Connection. Youth who have consistent and strong connections to adults in their families and communities are more likely to have a solid sense of belonging and security which fosters wellbeing. Maintaining consistent, predictable, dependable, and safe relationships with the youth in your life will make you a more askable adult for them.
C.A.R.I.N.G. adults are Approachable. Communicate in a way that sends the message that you are approachable, willing to do the work, and that you care. Maintain contact with young people when you know they are going through something challenging rather than waiting for them to bring it up again. Send a quick text or emoji to remind them that you are present.
C.A.R.I.N.G. adults are Respectful of Privacy.
Keep confidential things confidential—or if you’re not able to do that, be honest about that upfront. It is important to youth that adults don’t share their information without permission. They also expect that you are honest with them about your ability to keep their information private.
C.A.R.I.N.G. adults are Interested.
Be interested and curious about what matters the most right now to the youth in your life. Ask questions! Focus on them when they are talking. Put away your cell phone, make eye contact, listen hard and believe what they say. Show up for important events, like games and concerts, to support them. They notice.
C.A.R.I.N.G. adults are Non-judgmental.
Put away judgment. It’s the number one concern for youth in their relationships with adults. Youth most often just want to be listened to and heard. Adults most often jump right into problem-solving. When a young person comes to you to talk, ask if they just want to vent and be listened to or if they want feedback and to problem solve. If you make this a habit, youth will feel heard, and you will know what they need.
C.A.R.I.N.G. adults are Genuine.
Youth don’t expect adults to know everything—but they do appreciate honest responses and helpful information. It's ok to Google it. Your willingness to be honest, ask good questions, think out of the box, share your own experiences, and collaborate to find information will make you more askable to the youth in your life.
We understand that sometimes it can be difficult to hear how our youth is hurting. Know that you are not in this alone. Crime Victim Services is here to help all victims of crime and the C.A.R.I.N.G. adults who may need resources or support.
In addition to becoming a C.A.R.I.N.G. adult, Crime Victim Services is available to host workshops that dive deeper into these concepts. Please reach out to our Prevention team to schedule a training session by emailing prevention@crimevictimservices.org.
[1] https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/