Victim Offender Mediation

Empower the Search for Closure

Benefits for Victim   Ask Questions Express Feelings Confront Offender

Benefits for Offender   Take Responsibility See Personal Violation Chance to Apologize

There are many questions surrounding Victim Offender Mediation (VOM) and the programs that perform this service. Below are some results of a 1996-1997 survey completed by the Center for Restorative Justice and Mediation, University of Minnesota, School of Social Work. The statistics were taken from the Autumn 2000, Number 7 Victim-Offender Mediation Association (VOMA) newsletter:

What is the average break-down of programs that perform VOM?

• 43%- private, community-based
  
• 23%- church-based
  
• 16%- probation
  
• 8%- correctional facilities
  
• 4%- prosecuting attorney's office
  
• 3%- victim services
  
• 2% or less- police, residential facility
  
  

Who refers cases to VOM programs?

• 29%- probation officers
  
• 23%- judges
  
• 15%- prosecutors
  
• 13%- juvenile diversion
  
• 10%- police officers
  
• 7%- defense attorneys
  
• 2%- community members
  
• 1%- victim advocates
  

What kind of cases are mediated?

The most common offenses referred were: vandalism, minor assaults and theft; 33% of the cases were felonies, and 67% misdemeanors. However, all cases have the potential to be mediated, from vandalism to homicide.

When a mediation covers more severe violence, what are the most likely to be conducted?

• 33%- assault with bodily injury
  
• 18%- assault with a deadly weapon
  
• 11%- negligent homicide
  
• 8%- domestic violence
  
• 7%- sexual assault within family
  
• 6%- sexual assault by stranger
  
• 6%- murder
  
• 3%- attempted murder
  
• 8%- other
  
  

Is victim participation always voluntary?

In 100% of the programs victim involvement was always voluntary. In 79%, it is also voluntary for offenders, while 21% require the offender to meet the victim if it is requested by the victim.

How are the parties prepared prior to the mediation?

In 78% of programs, separate pre-mediation sessions are held in-person with both victims and offenders.

What are the mediator's most important tasks?

1. Facilitating a dialogue between victim and offender
   
2. Making the parties feel comfortable and safe
   
3. Assisting the parties in negotiating a restitution plan.
   
   

For more information on Victim-Offender Mediation, contact VOMA at:

Victim-Offender Mediation Association
143 Canal Street
New Smyrna Beach, FL 32168
904-424-1591
Fax: 904-424-6129
www.voma.org

Ohio Mediation Association, www.mediateohio.org

Mediation is not for every victim. However, it can be helpful to make the offender aware of what the victim has lost from the event, on all levels (emotional, physical, financial, etc). Below is one woman's account of her mediation, led by David Voth, where she met with the murderer of her mother.

Summary of Angie Snider's Meeting With
Jay Crider on March 1, 1996,
Mediated by David Voth

The mediated meeting was initiated and requested by Angie Snider. In preparation for the mediation, David Voth had previously met with Jay Crider on January 19, 1996, and with Angie on February 11, 1996. Numerous phone conversations were also held between David and Angie, as well as phone calls with Lima Correctional Institution Unit Manager Jodi Wince to arrange and confirm the meetings. Prior to all the meetings, David also spoke with an investigator at the Sidney, Ohio, Police Department, regarding the case. Angie's mother was murdered on July 9, 1983, when Angie was nine years old.

The meeting started with a question to Jay from Angie about the intent and content of his letter to a group in Indiana called, "Murder Victim's Families for Reconciliation" to which he had written in January, 1994, and described to David in their prior meeting. Jay described the letter as being hand written and nine pages long. He had written asking for help in understanding what victims went through, and wondering if the group could help in contacting victims in his crime. He had described the murder and his personal conditions at the time of the crime. The only response he had received was some fund raising information. Angie said she wanted a copy of the letter, so he said he would try to get a copy from the group through Jodi Wince.

Angie described an incident that took place a little more than a year before her mother's murder, in which a "perp" had "put the moves" on her and her brother while they were still living with their mother above Jerry's Bar on Main Street in Sidney, Ohio. Angie asked if he was the one who had done that, also saying she wasn't sure if he would tell the truth anyway. Jay said it wasn't he, and that he hadn't known Angie's mother, Becky, until later. At the time of the incident he was still in military service, and had not gotten out until 11 months before the murder.

David asked how he had known Becky ("Birdie"), and how well he had known her. Jay said she was a friend of his ex-fiancee, who he had been engaged to for a while after he got out of the military. Jay also mentioned that his ex-fiancee's father lived in Piqua. He didn't know Becky very well.

Angie asked if the fact was true, because she had studied the paperwork from his files, that he had a "B & E" (Breaking and Entering) conviction for which he had been given a suspended sentence and probation shortly before the murder. She said that if he had served time for that, he would have been in jail and wouldn't have murdered her mother. If she wasn't murdered, "That would mean that the one person I did not know, but loved - I would be getting to know right now!"

Jay said he had committed the B & E in January, 1983, received probation, and then gotten off probation in June, 1983, about one month before the murder. He now feels the "system" had failed him then, because his sister had urged the prosecutor and judge to require substance abuse counseling as a part of the sentence. However, the judge only required restitution to be paid prior to release from probation.

Angie asked, "Why my mother? She was trying to get her kids back. But you blew that chance away." She described how a caseworker had come to her foster family's house and told her that her mother was dead. Angie said she called the caseworker a liar and slapped her, and then went to her room. Angie asked if he knew what it is like to have other people tell you their memories. She described how she has so few memories of her mother, and a lot of what she has is what other people have told her about her mother. When she went to the funeral, she not only had a difficult time seeing her mother, but, "It was hard enough burying her and seeing her there in the casket, but we had matching dresses. That was freaky." Angie said she had by chance worn a matching dress with the one her mother was wearing in the casket. Angie asked again, "Why did you kill her? Why my mother? I hardly knew her, but I really loved her, and you took that away! How dare you come into our lives, upset my life, for as long as you have, all done in a brief moment."

Jay said he did not have a reason why he had killed Becky. He was sorry, but he knew that wouldn't change anything. He wanted to explain what was going on in his life at the time, not as an excuse, but to help Angie understand the circumstances. He said he had been using drugs and alcohol, and had been without crank (not crack) for one and ½ days. Becky had called his ex-fiancee names and that had triggered his anger and his killing her. He had not been angry with Becky before her comments, because they had just spent the night together and had "made love." Angie interrupted to say that he shouldn't call what they had done "making love," because it wasn't "love." Jay agreed.

Angie asked Jay if he knew that people called her a liar about her mom. She went to sign up for classes and not only had to tell the man at admissions that her mother was murdered, but he said she had to have proof. She had to leave and get a death certificate to go back and talk to him again. She has to answer to people who ask her about her "family." She feels badgered and frustrated by people all the time asking her about her parents or family.

Jay said that at the time of the murder he didn't care about anything. He was supposed to go into the Army the next day, but was not ready to leave. He felt pressure from the day before. He talked about his total emotional aimlessness and addiction to alcohol and drugs during that time period. He said that in prison he has taught Jaycee classes on personal wellness and positive attitude, and he realizes that alcohol and drugs are the bullets. If you remove the bullets you can't do any killing. He talked about his philosophy course he had taken, and the other personal self-improvement efforts he has made such as attending AA and NA meetings and on-going Bible correspondence courses. He has completed college while in prison, and is part of a program to talk to other inmates about drug and alcohol abuse problems.

Angie asked, "How do you really know you won't do alcohol and drugs?" "Where have you been for 10 ½ years? Didn't you care?" He said he did care, but he knew he wasn't right for a long time, but that he has been trying to do everything possible to improve himself and use his time wisely. She reminded him that he had been put "in the hole" (solitary punishment) in September, 1994, for making "brew" for his birthday. He agreed that he shouldn't have, but said he had learned to better control his desire for alcohol.

She asked if he knew she sometimes was afraid of him? She asked if he knew she had lost a baby in December, 1994? She said once she had awakened at night in a complete sweat with fear about him coming back to kill her. She said that there were different rumors about how her mother had died, and at different times she would hear and believe different stories. Angie asked, "Can you imagine how badly you have severed me and my family? Do you know the hell you have put me through?" She talked about how the death had strained and broken family relationships, including ones which had not been strong before the murder. She and her brother dealt with the death and memories differently, and it was only recently they could even talk much with each other or mention their mother. She said that one time she even had to leave work because of the intense feelings and memories that affected her regarding her mother and the murder.

Angie asked, "Would you have killed me and my brother if we had been there?" Jay said no, the circumstances would have been different. He would never have hurt anyone else, and maybe wouldn't have even lost control of himself if anyone else had been around.

Jay asked, "Do you feel there is anything more that I can do to improve myself, or anything that I can do to make you more comfortable?" David helped rephrase the question for Angie. Angie said he should get counseling while in prison. Jay explained that the psychiatrist or psychologist in prison would never see him because he was doing fine in prison, and only inmates showing real problems got counseling. Jay said he would have to wait to get counseling until he got out of prison.

David asked Jay to explain more about how he had met Becky and how often they had met prior to the murder. Jay said he had probably met Becky about six times. Five of the six times they had drank together or stood around together at bars or other places. He said they might have been together alone twice before the murder. Jay said Becky's nickname was "Birdie," because she was slender and didn't eat much. Angie asked about an incident she was told in which he had thrown Becky up against the wall in a bar downstairs near Becky's apartment. Jay said he did not recall the incident and, in fact, he said he was never violent with Becky before the murder. When he killed her he "just snapped" and there was no explanation. He had not been a violent person before the crime.

Angie said that her grandfather had died about two weeks after her mother. Her brother was older, so he had been "in charge" of getting food, food stamps, laundry, getting homework done and lots of other things. Times and memories have been so hard that Angie said she sometimes feels like she hardly knows how to cry anymore. She said it was very personal to show crying. She had been abused in foster families, and one family reneged on adopting her which made her feel terrible. She said that she was determined to do petitions to keep him in prison.

She said she sometimes has very real dreams and wakes up thinking she has seen her mother. She described in detail how she saw a car pass by and she was positive her mother had been in the car as it went by while she watched from the front yard of the foster family's house. In one dream Jay was a member of her family.

Angie said that she doesn't want any more "mind games" from him anymore. She is not going to let him have "free rent in my head any more." She feels that he really is locked up in prison since she has been able to meet him in prison today. But, when he gets out she will get a protection order to keep him away. She said she didn't want him to ever come around her when he got out, and that, "You had better not ever mess with me." She told him that a lot of people still felt angry, and very likely would hurt him because of the murder. She said she knew he would "pull this stunt again. I don't know when, but you'll do it again."

She asked if he had felt any remorse, and if he did, when did he start to feel sorry? Jay said he really didn't feel anything at the time of the murder. At that time, he could not even believe he had done it. He went back to the apartment to see if she was still there and if she was really dead. He then called his military recruiter who called a police officer, and they went together to the police station. The police didn't know there had been a murder, and had to go check it out before arresting him. It has only been in the last few years that he has realized how selfish what he did was and felt sorry about it. All the college courses and self-improvement efforts slowly took effect in his life and he now realizes how he must control his desire for alcohol.

Angie asked Jay if he ever wanted to get married again whether he would tell his girlfriend about the murder right away? Jay said that would be hard, because he should tell her, but he also would want for her to get to know him for who he has become. He said he would tell her.

She asked if he had known that Becky had kids? He said he hadn't known before the murder, and even sitting in jail he hadn't known. His sister thought she might have read something about children later when she was reading a newspaper about the court hearings on his case. The article mentioned something about the Victims of Crime Fund and said that two children (a boy and a girl) were involved.

Angie said she had mixed feelings saying so, but she gave Jay some credit for trying to get his life together. She was glad he actually admitted to the murder and said that it was senseless. Jay noted that he has never denied doing the murder. Angie said that no matter what Jay did, he could never know how her world has changed because of what he had done. She showed him some of her art work out of a small sketch book she had brought to the meeting. They were colored pencil sketches with a lot of detail. One was a drawing of her mother's grave site. Jay said he had done some art work for his defense attorney years ago.

Jay said again he was sorry for what he had done, and he realized that saying so in a way doesn't matter and can't replace or change anything. Angie said that the apology is 12 ½ years late. Jay said he realized that he put himself in prison, and he's not bitter about being locked up. He told Angie that she could do whatever she felt she needed to regarding the Parole Board, and that although he wanted to get out, he also understood she would do what she felt she should about him getting out. He said that when he got out he would go to either Georgia or Florida, where his mother or other family has agreed to help him get a job and get started in life. He noted that he feels like the world has changed a lot since he went to prison, and Angie and Jay talked about some of the computer, banking, and other changes which have taken place.

David reviewed Jay's points of never denying having committed the murder, and all the self-improvement efforts he has made. David said he would contact Jay to see about the efforts to get a copy of his letter to the Indiana group, and got permission to visit him again through his unit manager. He also reviewed 15 different ways in which Angie has been significantly impacted by the murder of her mother which she had pointed out in the meeting. David also agreed to do a written summary of the meeting, talk with each of them again about their feelings, and make sure they could each review and correct the written summary.

After walking out of the guard house at the prison, Angie said, "I feel like a 6 million ton weight has lifted off my chest. I feel I can really breathe again."

In conversations and correspondence with Angie after the meeting, she continued to express satisfaction with the meeting as a benefit to her healing process, and a sign of strength of her character and self-control. She wrote in a letter that "the soul and spirit of a little lost nine-year-old girl has finally been set free, after 12 ½ long years of time." She still said she felt he would "do it again," but also seemed to feel he was no longer the larger-than-life intruder into her psyche. She thought he was "fidgety' throughout the meeting, like he had been "caught red-handed." Angie later asked David for the phone number of another victim who had met with his mother's murderer which David had suggested as an option for her prior to the mediation.

David's last meeting with Jay was on April 29, 1996, at Lima Correctional Institution. Jay said his life has continued to improve. He had just been elected head of the local prison Jaycees chapter, and is being considered for transfer to Marion Correctional so he can use his drafting skills. Jay said, "As far as the meeting goes, I now have a better understanding of how my actions have affected her and her family. The meeting has personalized the impact that I've had." He also volunteered his new interest in helping offenders or victims prepare for mediation such as he and Angie completed.

In conversations after the mediation David told Angie and Jay they had both expressed themselves well and both had paid close attention to the other person. David expressed to both Angie and Jay his perception that some of the occasional "hand-wringing" by Jay was not nervousness, but from Jay's frustration when he could not find "new" words to express his remorse and responsibility each time Angie expressed a different effect the murder had on her life. The original letter from Jay to the victim's organization which Angie wanted to see was tracked down by David and recovered. Correspondence between Angie and Jay, through David, is continuing. Both Angie and Jay expressed interest in the mediation summary being available for informational purposes and for other victims and offenders considering mediation.